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Category Archive

The following is a list of all entries from the election category.

My foray into the world of frum journalism

I’ve decided to attempt some forays into the journalistic world of the frum community. Unfortunately I doubt that the people at Yeshiva World News will approve of article because they may actually take it seriously and find it too explicit. Hence I am left with no choice but publish it here.

 

Community Members Organize Yom Tefila for the Republican Campaign

 

BROOKLYN – Members of the organization Nshei Tefila, Sgulos, and Tehilasi are busy arranging for a yom tefila for the Republican campaign of presumptive presidential nominee John MCain.

            “Mr. McCain desperately needs our tefilos,” explained Mrs. Miryam Grossenberger, one of the organizers of this event  and chief directress of the organization Nshei Tefilah, whose full name is Nshei Tefilah Ha’Mispalilos B’Ad Shlomo Shel Am Yisrael Kulo Ad Binyan Bais Ha’Mikdash Bimheira B’yamein Amein Selah. “I was just calling my daughter the other day to find out about the weather – she’s not as Jewish, so she keeps a radio – and she told me about a Muslim who plans on becoming the president of the United States. As if it weren’t enough that a woman who didn’t know her place was at home thought she could be president! Anyway, I knew that this was terrible news for Eretz Yisroel and decided on the spot that I needed to do something.”

            “It truly is a sign of our times that so many members of klal yisrael do not realize the seriousness of the matzav,” added Chana Bracha Leya Leba Rosengarten, assistant directress of Nshei Tefilah. “Like the yetzer hara, this man has charmed himself to so many people so that they are blinded to his true character. The young people are so blinded by gashmius issues such as the economy and the Iraq war that they forget that this man will likely pass resolutions that will allow, lo aleinu, people of the same gender to marry each other, chas v’sholom.”

            “That’s how you know something must be done,” chimed in Chaya Leah Lieber, vice president of Nshei Tefila. “I saw on the television at my doctor’s office how excited all the young people became in the presence of that man. Anyone who can stir up young people that way obviously does not have the best interests of klal yisrael at heart.”

The yom tefila will take place on Tisha B’Av in shuls across Flatbush, Boro Park, Lakewood, and Yerusalayim. Several rabbanim will be providing divrei chizuk via a live hookup that will connect the communities. Individuals who are unable to attend the event are urged to make their hishtadlus from home. For example, Mrs. Chana Bracha Lamm of Tehilasi has distributed Tehilim booklets to several nursing mothers who will not be able to leave their homes. “With Hashem’s help, we will be able to have the entire sefer of Tehilim seventy times within a period of about three hours,” she stated. The president of Sgulos, who would like to remain unnamed for tznius reasons, added that homebound individuals can also light candles while eating rimonim, a special segulah for yeshua during such serious times.

May Hashem reward our efforts by keeping this terrible tragedy from falling upon us and may we always be zoche to have presidents who are both white and male ad binyan bais hamikdash, bimheira byameinu amen.